Monday, October 27, 2008

HORSES, TRACTORS, TRUCKS, BALLS, A BALE OF HAY AND A NEED FOR PAIN PILLS





I DO NOT HAVE A PIC OF THE STORY I'M ABOUT TO TELL BUT ALL OF THE PICS OF THE VEHICLES YOU SEE ARE IN THIS STORY.  YOU JUST HAVE TO VISUALISE WHAT I'M TELLING ABOUT MY HORSES, TRACTORS, BALLS, A BALE OF HAY AND OF COARSE  MY HONEY WHO IS DRIVING THAT TRACTOR ABOVE WITH THE BALE OF HAY ON THE BACK. 

FIRST THING THIS MORNING WE WERE GOING TO VOTE. AS I WAS GETTING READY I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, GET THE CAMERA BECAUSE WHEN MY HONEY STARTS TO DO THINGS WITH HIS TRUCK AND TRACTORS THERE JUST ISN'T ANY TELLING WHAT WILL HAPPEN. I WAS IN SUCH A HURRY TO VOTE I FORGOT THE CAMERA. FIRST MISTAKE OF THE DAY. I WORE MY OBAMA SHIRT TO VOTE SECOND MISTAKE. GOOD THING I HAD ON MY COAT BECAUSE THEY WOULDN'T LET ME SHOW MY SHIRT WHILE INSIDE THE EARLY VOTING PLACE. I BUTTONED UP MY COAT AND VOTED. SO WHEN YOU GO VOTE DO NOT WEAR ANYTHING OR CARRY ANYTHING THAT SAYS MCCAIN OR OBAMA. RULE NUMBER ONE !!

WE LEFT AND WENT TO THE RANCH. OUR MISSION WAS TO PUT A BALE OF HAY IN THE BED OF HIS FORD TRUCK, DRIVE IT OVER TO MY HOUSE THROUGH THE GATE AND PUT THE BALE OF HAY AT THE BOTTOM OF MY BACK YARD FOR MY HORSES ANNIE AND WILDFIRE. ( IN THE PIC ABOVE ) TO EAT ON WHILE IT IS COLD.  FIRST THING MY HONEY DID WAS DRIVE HIS TRUCK DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF A HILL. LET HIS TAIL GATE DOWN WHERE IT TOUCHED THE GROUND SO HE COULD JUST LET THE HAY OFF OF HIS BIG TRACTOR LIKE YOU SEE  IN THE PIC ABOVE THAT HE IS DRIVING. HE LET THE HAY ON THE BACK OF THE TRACTOR DOWN ON THE BED OF THE TRUCK. WHEN HE WENT TO PULL THE TRACTOR OFF AND LEAVE THE HAY ON THE BED OF THE TRUCK IT KEPT ROLLING BACK OFF THE TAIL GATE OF THE TRUCK. 

HONEY THEN PARKED THE BIG TRACTOR AND GOT HIS SMALLER JOHN DEER TRACTOR LIKE THE TRACTOR IN THE THIRD PIC ABOVE. HE WAS JUST GOING TO PUSH THE BALE OF HAY OVER INTO THE BED OF THE TRUCK WITH THE FRONT OF HIS SMALLER JOHN DEER TRACTOR. HE DID THAT ALRIGHT AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW THE HAY IS IN THE BED OF HIS FORD TRUCK AND THE TRACTOR IS ON TOP OF THE HAY ALL THE WAY TO THE CAB OF THE TRUCK. LOL THE FRONT WHEELS OF THE TRACTOR IS STICKING STRAIGHT UP INTO THE AIR ON TOP OF THE WHOLE BALE OF HAY THAT IS LAYING IN THE BED OF HIS FORD TRUCK ALL THE WAY TO THE CAB OF THE TRUCK. 

NOW WHAT HE FORGOT WAS THE TRACTOR THAT IS NOW ON TOP OF THE BALE OF HAY THAT IS SITTING IN THE BED OF HIS TRUCK WITH THE FRONT WHEELS STICKING STRAIGHT UP INTO THE AIR WILL NOT BACK UP. THAT'S RIGHT IT WON'T GO IN REVERSE. BY THIS TIME I'M LAUGHING MY ASS OFF AND PEEING IN MY PANTS. I KEPT SAYING "OH MY GOD I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE." IT LOOKED LIKE THE TRACTOR WAS SCREWING THE TRUCK FROM BEHIND. IT LOOKED LIKE HORSES MATING EXCEPT IT WAS A TRACTOR A BALE OF HAY AND A TRUCK. 

I START SAYING GET OFF THE TRACTOR I WAS AFRAID IT WOULD TURN OVER BACKWARDS OR SIDE WAYS WHILE HE WAS ON IT. EVERY TIME HE TRIED TO GET OFF THE TRACTOR IT KEPT ROLLING FRONTWARDS PUSHING THE TRUCK AND THE HAY ON DOWN THE HILL TOWARD A HUGE OAK TREE. 

HONEY HAD TO PUT THE TRACTOR IN GEAR SO IT WOULD STOP ROLLING EVERYTHING FORWARD OR TURN OVER BACKWARDS OR GO ON OVER ON TOP OF THE CAB OF THE FORD TRUCK. I KEPT LAUGHING AND LAUGHING SAYING, " I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF ANYTHING LIKE THIS." HE SAID HE HADN'T EITHER.  I WANTED MY CAMERA SO BAD I THOUGHT ABOUT RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS TO MY HOUSE BUT I KNEW HE WOULD KILL ME BEFORE I COULD TAKE THE PIC IF I DID. 

HE GETS EVERYTHING STEADY AND HE GETS OFF THE TRACTOR AND GOES AND GETS THE BIG TRACTOR THAT'S IN THE PIC WITH THE HAY ON THE BACK OF IT AND A CHAIN AS BIG AS THE TRACTORS AND THE TRUCK PUT TOGETHER. HE BACKS THE BIG TRACTOR UP TO THE SMALLER TRACTOR ON THE HAY AND THE TRUCK AND HOOKS UP THE CHAIN.  HE PULLS THE TRACTOR OFF THE HAY AND THE TRUCK WITH HIS BIG TRACTOR. YOU GOT IT, THE BALE OF HAY ROLLS BACK OFF THE TRUCK BED AGAIN. 

HE THEN TURNS THE BIG TRACTOR AROUND AND PUSHES IT BACK ON THE BED OF THE TRUCK WITH THE HAY LIFTER AND THIS TIME THE HAY WENT INTO THE BED OF THE TRUCK AND THE TRACTOR STAYED OFF. HE KEPT SAYING I'M NEVER TELLING THIS STORY AND I KEPT LAUGHING AND SAYING YOU WON'T HAVE TO CAUSE I'M TELLING THIS ONE MYSELF. LOL 

WE THEN JUMP INTO THE TRUCK WITH THE HAY GET TO MY HOUSE OPEN THE GATE TO MY BACK YARD AND THE TRUCK GOES THROUGH THE GATE WITH THE BALE OF HAY IN THE BED OF THE TRUCK WITH NOT EVEN A HAIR OF ROOM LEFT ON EACH SIDE OF THE TRUCK AND FENSE. I HAVE 3 HILLS AND A SIDEWALK THAT GOES ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF MY BACK YARD TO THE LAKE. THE HAY NEEDS TO GO ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE LAKE BECAUSE HORSES EAT AND POOP ALL WINTER BY THE HAY AS THEY EAT. THE TRUCK DRAGS ON THE SIDEWALK AND THE HAY WON'T COME OFF THE TRUCK AS HE GUNS THE TRUCK TO GET THE HAY TO START ROLLING OFF THE TAIL GATE AND BED OF THE TRUCK WHEN WE GET TO THE BOTTOM OF MY BACK YARD.

 HE PARKS THE TRUCK AND HIM AND I BOTH GET UP IN THE TRUCK AND PUSH ON THE BALE WHICH WEIGHTS ABOUT 1500 LBS AND LOW AND BEHOLD IT STARTS TO ROLL AND OFF IT GOES INTO THE EXACT SPOT WE WANTED IT RIGHT UP AGAINST THE HOUSE BY THE LAKE WHERE THE HORSES GO INTO FOR SHELTER FROM THE RAIN AND COLD. SWEET SUCCESS !! WHEN MY HONEY TRIES TO DRIVE OFF HE IS STUCK ON THE SIDE WALK AND THE WHEELS ARE SPINNING ON THE SLICK GROUND. ALL OF A SUDDEN HE BACKS UP FLOOR BOARDS IT AND HE'S UP MY WHOLE BACK YARD AS FAST AS LIGHTENING. I RUN UP THE HILL LAUGHING ALL THE WAY. 

WHEN I REACH THE TRUCK HE HAS GOTTEN OUT AND IS PRAYING WITH HIS HANDS FOLDED RESTING ON THE BED OF THE TRUCK AND HE SAYS DEAR GOD IF JUDY ASK ME FOR ANOTHER ANIMAL PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO SAY NO !! AFTER SEVERAL REPEATS OF THE SAME PRAYER WE GOT BACK INTO THE TRUCK AND HEADED TO THE RANCH AGAIN.

WHEN WE GET TO THE RANCH WHICH IS 5 MINUTES AWAY MY HONEY GETS HIS CHAIN SAW AND SAYS WE NEED TO CUT AND LOAD ALL THIS SEASONED CEDAR WOOD THAT IS 25 YRS OLD THAT USE TO BE HIS FENCE BEFORE HE REPAIRED IT WITH NEW WOOD.  HE CUT AND I LOADED THE FORD TRUCK UP WITH SEASONED 25 YR OLD  CEDAR CUT WOOD AND BROUGHT IT TO MY HOUSE TO ADD TO MY CORD OF GREEN OAK WOOD FOR MY FIRES TO START EASY AND BURN LONG AND SLOW. AFTER THAT'S OVER.

HONEY LEAVES ME AT HOME AT AROUND 5 PM AND SAYS IT'S SUPPOSE TO FREEZE TONIGHT I'VE GOT TO GET MY PLANTS IN. I THINK........." FREEZE"..... OH MY GOODNESS I HAVE TO GET MY PLANTS IN TOO. I BROUGHT IN 15 FERNS AND HIBISCUS PLANTS IN BIG POTS BY MYSELF. I THEN SAW ALL THE LEAVES IN MY POOL SO I TURNED ON THE POOL PUMP DIPPED ALL THE LEAVES OUT OF THE POOL AND LEFT IT RUNNING SO THE PIPES TO THE POOL AND MOTOR WON'T FREEZE BEFORE I CAN GET IT COVERED AND WINTERIZED. 

GUESS WHAT I'M DOING NOW ??? LOOKING FOR MY PRESCRIPTION PAIN PILLS LIKE IN THE PIC ABOVE TO EASE THE BODY ACHES AND PAINS THAT THE LAUGHING AND WORK DID TO MY BODY TODAY. IT ALWAYS MAKES LIFE SO MUCH FUN WHEN YOU HAVE A HONEY THAT HAS A TRUCK THAT HAS BALLS AS BIG AS HIS ARE.  LOL

THAT'S JUST ONE DAY AT OUR HOUSE AND THE RANCH WITH A MISSION IN MIND. I JUST WONDER WHAT TOMORROW WILL BRING? 

IF I ONLY HAD MY CAMERA TO SEE THAT TRACTOR ROLL THAT HAY INTO THAT TRUCK BED AND THEN WATCH THAT TRACTOR ROLL OVER ON TOP OF THAT HAY IN THE BED OF THAT TRUCK WITH HIM SITTING ON TOP OF THE TRACTOR AND THE FRONT WHEELS OF THAT TRACTOR STICKING STRAIGHT UP IN THE AIR OVER THE CAB OF THAT FORD TRUCK I KNOW I COULD WIN HOMES FUNNIEST VIDEOS. I JUST KNOW IT !!! THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WAS PRICELESS AND ME HOLDING MY CROUCH TO TRY AND KEEP FROM PEEING WAS THE FUNNEST THING I CAN EVER THINK OF. THE TRACTOR LOOKED LIKE IT WAS MATING THE TRUCK FROM BEHIND JUST LIKE THE HORSES DO.

MY HONEY ALWAYS SAYS IF YOU DON'T LIKE SOMEONE GIVE THEM A HORSE. WELL HE GAVE ME TWO AND ONE IS PREGNANT. HUMMMMMMMMM ????

GOODNIGHT AND SLEEP TIGHT !!




5 comments:

  1. Hi Judy,
    can you send me the laughter pill?
    I sooo badly need it! [after moving and (still) following!)
    Gem :-)

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  2. Thank you so much for the laugh, I could imagine it all. No wonder you ache from all that work, you probably ache from laughing as well. Hope you have taken part in my poll.

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  3. This entry was great! Thanks for the laugh. I feel your pain from the hard work. Hope your day today is a happy one. Take care,
    Katie

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  4. Now THAT is a STORY! I am glad no one was maimed or killed during this chaos! LOL on the honey praying to say no to you...my hubby relates, believe me!

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  5. Okay Judy, I guess I am just retarded, I cant seem to find a place that has your email address...will you shoot me an email please...I was going to tell you a tale of mine related to your post about your aunt, I left a message below in that post. My email is FowfiesATaol.com (just take out the AT and put the @ in there)

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